"I am suffering from anxiety ever since I lost my mother and broke my engagement to my old friend."
"I am finding it very difficult to strike a work-life balance."
"I know I am depressed, I do not feel happy...."
"I easily get distracted. I am not at all attentive..."
"Oh yes, I too suffer from insomnia!"
"My workplace environment is very stressful...Too much of politics.."
Quite often we come across such disclosures in the course of our conversation with our friends, relations, or family members. Often, we can hear ourselves confiding such issues in our close friend or a family member like parents, siblings or spouse. We often experience such emotional turmoil but refrain from openly discussing them with anyone because we are scared of being labelled as an emotionally weak person, or as someone who has mental problems, hence a person with a weak persona, we often give up on our own self and easily resign to failure. We do so because we are not aware of our potential to overcome such emotional challenges and issues we face in our life. Often we allow such trifles to transform into gargantuan challenges that invariably consume us and leave us distraught with the deep-rooted feeling of failure. Often this results in our identity crisis too.
People who have such emotional experience are low on self-confidence and self-esteem. Their worry begins with a question they ask themselves, and allow it to consume their energy in brooding over it. Their negative vibes make them biased, prejudiced and even cynical at times. To escape from reality they can indulge in gossip and eventually most of their decisions are based on gossip than on well-analyzed facts. Such people tend to dwell on the past or the future than being aware of the present. They get easily distracted by their own thoughts or any external stimuli in the form of any sound, noise, image, etc. They can also resort to substance abuse as a solution to their problem.
Yes, it's a question worth answering, "How can I face such problems and overcome them myself?"
The answer again is in the affirmative. You can solve these problems yourself and here are a few methods you can adapt to solve your emotional problems:
Meditation
Our talkative and wandering mind is the root cause of such emotional problems we face. Meditation is the most effective way to regulate our thoughts and control our mind. Meditation helps us to anchor our mind to the present and live in the present without the prejudice of the past experience. People usually say, 'Oh, it's impossible for me to be in one place and meditate. I just can't do it!" In fact, it is true. Initially, it is quite difficult to meditate; for that matter, even chant a mantra or a shloka for a minute. You can begin by chanting a shloka or mantra for a minute. While chanting, completely concentrate on the words you are uttering and feel your own voice vibrate within you. You will not allow any thoughts to creep into your mind while you are chanting. Concentrate completely on the chant. Once you are able to chant for more than ten to fifteen minutes without allowing your mind to deviate from the chant, then try the next step, to meditate. The purpose of meditation is to dwell completely at the moment. Empty your mind of any thoughts. Be in a quiet and comfortable place, sit in a comfortable posture. Either close your eyes while meditating or observe an object like a lamp, or a symbol, or an icon while you meditate. Begin by meditating for a minute. Within the span of a minute, concentrate on your breathing, your physical being, the presence of air or breeze around you. Listen to any external sound without allowing your mind to process these external stimuli, just be aware of them without discerning or analyzing them. Try to meditate for a minute without allowing your mind to deviate from the present moment. You may find it to be quite an exercise for the first few days, but once you are able to control your mind and keep it blank to dwell in the present, you can then extend the duration of meditation from one minute to two or three minutes. After meditation, have a glass of juice or lemonade to feel more fresh and primed.
Initially, after meditation, you may feel exhausted or not as fresh and rejuvenated as you should; this is just the beginning, within a few days you will begin to feel fresh post the meditation session. You can also lie down and relax for a while, but make sure you do not allow any thoughts of worries to rush back into your mind.
There are many ways one can meditate and I am sharing a few of them with you:
1. Walk and Meditate: You can begin by walking for five minutes; while you are walking, carefully observe your surroundings without allowing your mind to analyze and interpret your observation. The mind should remain empty and do not allow it to relate your observation to any of your past experience. The mind should remain empty. Initially, you may find it difficult to prevent thoughts from creeping into your mind. So you can chant under your breath while you are walking and concentrate on the words you chant as well as its rhythm and can pace yourself with its rhythm. This will help you to relax as well as walk with ease. At least you can walk and meditate for fifteen minutes to fresh up your mind and get ready for the day's journey.
2. Listen to Music and Meditate: Listen to a piece of instrumental music. There plenty available in a music store or online on music streaming sites including YouTube. You can choose a piece of music that helps you relax. Its tune and rhythm help you to empty your mind and live in the moment. You can concentrate on the rhythm of the music and regulate your breath as you concentrate on your breathing while listening to music. Try for a minute, then for two minutes and gradually extend it till you are able to meditate for fifteen to twenty minutes regulating your breath and keeping your mind blank and devoid of any thoughts or worries. You will remain aware of yourself and your surroundings. The music helps you to relax and concentrate on your breathing.
3. Dance and Meditate:
This form of meditation is used by many aboriginal tribes all over the world. The Dervish (Holy Men) from Turkey and Shri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu from India used to dance to the tune of hymns and bhajans. This is now practised by the ISKCON devotees, who dance to the tune of the bhajans they sing. This is the most dynamic way to live in the present while you rid yourself of thoughts and worries. TAI CHI is also this form of meditation that helps the performer to effectively control the coordination of his body and mind. This is also the most effective way to rejuvenate you both physically and mentally.
4. Colour and Meditate:
This is yet another unique way to meditate. There are meditation colour books available and you can concentrate on colouring the pictures and patterns within a given time. You have to immerse yourself in the activity and not allow your mind to get distracted and hamper the flow of your activity. There is yet another dynamic variation to this method of meditation. This variation combines music with the colouring activity and makes it easy to tune in to the colouring activity without allowing your mind deviating from it.
5. Meditation and Yoga:
Pranayam, Surya Namaskar are few of the asanas that help you to meditate involving your entire body in the process. You regulate your physical activity to the rhythm of your breath. While doing the asanas, you synchronise your body movement with your breath and this makes it easy for you to involve your mind in the activity and be completely present at the moment. This is quite similar to TAI CHI.
6. Craft-work Yoga/ Hobby Meditation:
Do what is your favourite activity, for example, knitting, fabric painting, embroidery, crochets, carving, painting, sculpting, working in the garden, tending to the animals or infants, reading, and writing, listening to music, just to name a few. You can pursue these activities in your leisure time and ensure your complete involvement in the activity. Your mind should be completely involved in the activity and should be aware of each and every move you make. You must have experienced you make mistake in the activity viz, embroidery or cross-stitch when your mind becomes inattentive to what you are doing. This activity also rewards you with a sense of achievement when you complete the activity by creating the artwork the way you wanted to.
7. Trekking and travelling:
Trekking and travelling to places that are very close to nature, viz. forest, fields, hills, beaches, farms, glades, that gives you the space to relax in the natural environs and completely concentrate on your natural surroundings and try to harmonise with it by observing its sight, sound and smell, it's feeling in the form of the breeze, the sky, the sun, the moon, the stars, its terrain interspersed with water bodies. Kayaking or canoeing in the streams. All these are yet another method of yoga that helps you to be both physically and mentally involved with the surroundings and it has an invigorating influence on your being. Any sports activities like gymnastics, swimming, athletics, to name a few are yet another method of meditation as you need to completely involve yourself in the activity, at the moment.
8. Meditate While Bathing:
Bathing is yet another form of yoga as you concentrate on the activity. After a hard day's work, when you enter a shower and feel the cool and refreshing shower of water gently relax the strain from your limbs. You can feel the water gently and gradually wash away the day's grime and exhaustion from your body and leave you feeling refreshed and revitalized. A word of caution; while bathing, do not allow any thoughts to creep into your mind. Enjoy your bath and become a bathroom singer if need be to ward off any thoughts and worries crawling back into your mind.
(2019)
9. Meditate While Observing Birds and Animals:
I have tried it and have immensely benefited from it. A walk in the park, an open space, a field or meadow, sea, river, or lake. I observe the birds, insects and animals around while walking. In the evening, from the roof top, I observe the birds return tot heir nest, their perch on a tree to rest for the night. I observe their animated flapping of wings and shrieks when they sight a group of simian friends' acrobatic from the branches of the trees or, dogs gallivanting around. Their scuffle for the best perch on a branch. Often I reach the rooftop feeling low and depressed. When I begin observing the birds and the natural surrounding around me, I gradually feel every nerve in my body relax and all the stress, anxiety and a sense of depression ease off me. I mindfully observe the animals around me, especially the birds and can feel the connect with them, a non-verbal connect. They seem to accept my presence and I live each and every passing moment enraptured in observing the surroundings without trying to draw inference from the actions and judge them. I simply observe them as one of them. My mind empties itself of all cares and worries and I can feel peace and calm in my very being. I feel the burden of stress and anxiety lift off me. I enjoy the chirping of the birds. I mindfully note the pattern in their vocal communication and tend to enjoy their song that has a healing effect on my heart and mind. My mind completely free from any thoughts and worries. My heart reverberating my rhythmic inhalation and exhalation of breath, similar to a bird song.
In scientific observation, we observe the birds, animals and natural surroundings with a specific objective in mind. We study and note down our observation to substantiate our purpose. We collect and collate the study data to analyse and declare specific behaviour traits to be common behavioural traits and tend to generalise the behaviour of specific animal or bird species. In doing so, we tend to ignore and appreciate unique traits of each and every being and expect them to conform to the set of conformed behavioural traits that we have statistically substantiated. This causes friction between individuality and duality based on generalisation.
The reason why I have mentioned scientific observation is to draw the difference between scientific observation that has a specific scientific purpose to fulfill, and spiritual observation is to em pathetically observe every being while admiring and appreciating its unique behavioural traits. Through such observation we establish a spiritual connect with the observed the foundation of meditative mindfulness.
(2019)
9. Meditate While Observing Birds and Animals:
I have tried it and have immensely benefited from it. A walk in the park, an open space, a field or meadow, sea, river, or lake. I observe the birds, insects and animals around while walking. In the evening, from the roof top, I observe the birds return tot heir nest, their perch on a tree to rest for the night. I observe their animated flapping of wings and shrieks when they sight a group of simian friends' acrobatic from the branches of the trees or, dogs gallivanting around. Their scuffle for the best perch on a branch. Often I reach the rooftop feeling low and depressed. When I begin observing the birds and the natural surrounding around me, I gradually feel every nerve in my body relax and all the stress, anxiety and a sense of depression ease off me. I mindfully observe the animals around me, especially the birds and can feel the connect with them, a non-verbal connect. They seem to accept my presence and I live each and every passing moment enraptured in observing the surroundings without trying to draw inference from the actions and judge them. I simply observe them as one of them. My mind empties itself of all cares and worries and I can feel peace and calm in my very being. I feel the burden of stress and anxiety lift off me. I enjoy the chirping of the birds. I mindfully note the pattern in their vocal communication and tend to enjoy their song that has a healing effect on my heart and mind. My mind completely free from any thoughts and worries. My heart reverberating my rhythmic inhalation and exhalation of breath, similar to a bird song.
In scientific observation, we observe the birds, animals and natural surroundings with a specific objective in mind. We study and note down our observation to substantiate our purpose. We collect and collate the study data to analyse and declare specific behaviour traits to be common behavioural traits and tend to generalise the behaviour of specific animal or bird species. In doing so, we tend to ignore and appreciate unique traits of each and every being and expect them to conform to the set of conformed behavioural traits that we have statistically substantiated. This causes friction between individuality and duality based on generalisation.
The reason why I have mentioned scientific observation is to draw the difference between scientific observation that has a specific scientific purpose to fulfill, and spiritual observation is to em pathetically observe every being while admiring and appreciating its unique behavioural traits. Through such observation we establish a spiritual connect with the observed the foundation of meditative mindfulness.
Benefits of Meditation:
1. It helps you to be fully aware of the moment and not allow thoughts and memories from the past make you unmindful of the present and brood over the past.
2. It helps you to avoid the bias and prejudice elicited from your experience to make you biased an prejudiced, that makes you judgmental and affect your decisions too.
3. It helps you to take full control of your mind and not allow it to get distracted easily.
4. It helps you to prevent negative thoughts and emotions from affecting your attitude and actions.
5. It helps you to analyse any external stimulus in the form of an image, conversation, etc. reach out for facts before you allow them to influence your behaviour and the subsequent decisions you make.
6. It helps you to retain your peace of mind and control or avoid any external factors affecting you in any way.
7. It helps to regain your self-confidence, courage and a sense of self-discipline.
7. It helps you to remove any feeling of insecurity lurking inside you
8. It helps to rid yourself of worries and anxiety worrying you.
9. It helps you to live in the present as you are able to control your thoughts from disturbing your mental peace and sanctity.
10. It helps you to effectively manage your work stress and successfully balance your personal and professional life.
11. It helps you to assimilate your knowledge and experience for overall well-being.
12. It develops your grit and resilience to successfully meet with any challenges that come your way.
13. It helps you to rid yourself off the feeling of insecurity and aggression.
Mindfulness:
Mindfulness simply means to live and enjoy the present moment and imbibe the knowledge and experience we invariably gain from it. This is therefore evident that mindfulness is the primary benefit of meditation. All the benefits that we have listed can be summed up in one word and that is to be mindful of yourself and your surroundings.
Meditation is a very effective, yet the much-ignored method of self-development. People are gradually becoming aware of its benefits and are gradually accepting and integrating it into their lives with no side effects, only positive effects and results for those who practice it.
